I had the privilege to get away on vacation with my family the first full week of 2015, a tradition we’ve had for a number of years. December is a month that often involves putting in extra hours to prepare the music for our Christmas events and services, and I am thankful for some days to rest, recharge, and have fun with my family after Christmas. This unusual window of vacation time also provides some days to thoughtfully reflect on the year that ended and the new one ahead.
This past Christmas season will remain in my memory as one of the busier ones I’ve had in ministry, and I went into the vacation week anticipating some extra sleep and time with the Lord to bring encouragement to my tired soul. I think I was feeling pretty good about how things had gone last year, and although I wasn’t consciously aware of these feelings, I now realize that I was expecting to hear the Lord say a lot of positive and encouraging things in my quiet times with Him.
That wasn’t exactly how things went down …
We were staying in Sunriver, and I often enjoy starting my vacation days with some time in God’s Word and prayer. Central Oregon mornings are so beautiful watching the sunrise over snowy Mt. Bachelor, and I have had many rich times in God’s presence over the years in that setting. I got up the first morning of vacation and started reading my Bible. The passages of Scripture I was reading (part of a Bible reading plan I was on) were all about the judgment of God, both in the Minor Prophets and the book of Revelation. These were passages that clearly showed God’s holiness, and the great mercy and patience he demonstrated when His people turned away from Him. These themes were repeated in subsequent days as I read. I had also brought a couple books with me on vacation, and as I started reading them I felt the Lord bringing some very clear correction to my heart in practical areas of my life: parenting, finances, time management, and the priorities that drive my schedule. To top it all off, I received an email from a friend that was one of those “iron sharpening iron” messages that Solomon talks about in Proverbs 27:17. This friend (who I know loves me and I trust his heart) really took me to task on some of my attitudes and choices in how I live my life and lead my family.
I don’t know how you respond to input that is seriously challenging and feels like criticism, but my initial response was not one I am particularly proud of. I was defensive. I came up with excuses, tried to rationalize why the Scripture didn’t apply to me — I even journaled about it.
Then I tried a difference response. I tried quieting my heart.
Near the end of the week, I decided to just worship the Lord without any music or singing. I found a quiet place and I started walking in a circle, pacing and praying, and probably wearing a few thin spots in the carpet from my racetrack pattern. I prayed prayers of worship to the Lord, and I allowed the words of truth to remind my heart of who God is and who I am (and who I’m not, which was the big reason I was feeling so defensive). As I began to listen to the Holy Spirit, I found I didn’t feel so attacked, and my need to defend myself faded.
Over the years, I’ve learned something about the way the Lord brings correction or instruction to my life. He always brings correction in specific areas, and He always communicates a thread of hope in everything He says. He doesn’t tear us apart and leave us a mess. He reminds us of His love and good plans, even as He seeks to shape our lives. Here’s a perfect example of this kind of balance in the teaching of God:
Among the other nations, Judah and Israel became symbols of a cursed nation. But no longer! Now I will rescue you and make you both a symbol and a source of blessing. So don’t be afraid. Be strong, and get on with rebuilding the Temple! For this is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: I was determined to punish you when your ancestors angered me, and I did not change my mind, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. But now I am determined to bless Jerusalem and the people of Judah. So don’t be afraid. But this is what you must do: Tell the truth to each other. Render verdicts in your courts that are just and that lead to peace. Don’t scheme against each other. Stop your love of telling lies that you swear are the truth. I hate all these things, says the Lord. (Zechariah 8:13-17 NLT)
As I read this scripture and allowed the balance of God’s correction and His unfailing love to flow into my heart in the right proportions, I was able to receive correction with humility. My defenses gradually came down. I read back over the books I was reading and the email from my friend. In some areas, I did need to make changes, and I was able to receive those things. In the passage above, God corrected the people, reminded them of His hope-filled plans for their lives, and then He challenged them to go out and live differently. What a great pattern for creating the kind of changes in our lives that can truly last — and by the One who made us and knows how we function best.
As my vacation week finished, I was shocked at the direction the Lord had led me. It certainly wasn’t what I was expecting (or would have chosen), however, I returned home with a fresh sense of passion to live with greater discipline, character, and wisdom in my life. Instead of feeling defeated, I was encouraged. The God who loved me enough to correct me didn't stop loving me in the process. There is no one safer person to put my trust in, no matter how difficult it might be to hear the criticism.
Regardless of what you think you need from God today, I encourage you to quiet your heart in worship before Him. Things might go differently than you think they will, but I have a feeling you’ll be glad you did.
Cheers,
Brent
bmills@b4church.org
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