TO WORSHIP IN MY DREAMS

In the middle of the night, I kept myself awake. 

Thinking.

I thought of hard things, past things, worrisome things and future things. Things we all find ourselves worrying about. Eventually, I found myself wiping warm tears from my face. I was crying.

About the worrisome things. 

I, someone who thinks vivid thoughts and dreams vivid dreams, found myself trapped in thoughts of fear, rather than thoughts of God. He gave me a vivid mind, and yet I feared the dark dreams that might follow my tears. Worrying...

Only leaves me paralyzed. 

To my God, I prayed please, God, only good dreams or no dreams tonight. Please help me to rest. You see, I had grown used to feeling tired when I awoke, because my dreams had kept my worries close. My heart wanted to keep God himself close, but my mind felt it needed to keep worrying. 

And I can't see beyond my worry when I cling to it. 

Staring at the ceiling, I lay there, my face feeling tight from my tears. I feel closer to the Lord when I worship Him in music, so I listened to a beautiful song called "Ever Be," praying over and over that God would hear me and give me rest. I do not recall my mind, soul and spirit drifting to sleep. But my heart must have realized...

How I need to release my worries to Him who knows my heart best. 

I awoke the next morning with peace and Psalm 139 on my mind. As I awoke, I realized that my dreaming consisted of a very peaceful and vivid view of a mountainside, the words and sounds of worship music accompanying the view. Dreaming in worship music is something I had never before experienced, but to be in God's presence in my sleep is something I will never forget. 

You have searched me Lord, and you know me. (v.1)

In truth, it wasn't the peaceful worship songs in my dreams that touched me the most. It was that God heard my prayer, searched my heart, and knew what it needed. He listened to me — to me. And He gave me those dreams to calm my spirit. The Lord of creation heard me, and came by my side in a way I had never before experienced. Though I felt foolish for letting tears of worry consume my thoughts, I was ever convicted to offer them up to Him...

Search me, God, and know my heart; Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (v.23-24)

The Lord answered my prayer and met me in my dreams. Though my reasons to worry may still be present, I will choose to worship him in song. He will calm my heart. I want to be led by His wisdom and grace to rid myself of worry and fear. 

I will not fear, for You are with me. 

Jamie Robison 
jrobison@b4church.org