I've been challenged while reading the book of Job in recent days. Job provides us a clear and practical example of someone who endured suffering. His pain was intense - more severe than most of us will ever endure in our lifetimes.
The majority of the book is poetry, creatively letting us eavesdrop on conversations between Job and his four friends as they discussed the nature of God and of human suffering. These men exemplify our shared human experience in many ways. Throughout our lives, we either find ourselves in a season of suffering like Job, or we know someone who is in that season. With all the tools and information at our fingertips to stay connected, we are never far from someone enduring hurt or loss.
The first three friends who came to support Job started well...they sat quietly with him as he processed his pain. Things went downhill shortly thereafter. They parroted ideas of "pop culture" or conventional wisdom of their day, but their answers were not consistent with the character of God. They spoke on behalf of God and made assumptions about Him that were wrong. They assumed a direct cause and effect relationship between sin and hardship. They declared that righteous and wicked people received direct consequences for their actions, but their black and white definitions of human suffering and God’s feelings about it were overly simplistic and inaccurate.
Job's fourth friend (Elihu) entered the story late, and while his ideas about God contained some truth, he was woefully lacking in compassion. Elihu spoke of God's sovereignty and power, encouraging Job to surrender and trust God. However, he wasn't mature enough to know he needed to build relational equity before opening his mouth. He didn't "earn" the right to speak to Job, and as a result, his counsel came across as harsh and difficult to receive.
In my life, when a friend is suffering and I find myself in a place to come alongside, there are things I can glean from Job's friends, but none are worthy of emulation. It's right to invest time, build relational bridges, and offer care to hurting friends. I must be cautious when sharing advice, and anything i share must be timely, compassionate, and Biblical. No matter the quality of my experience or ideas, I never have place to speak until first truly understanding the depth of my friend's suffering.
These are strict filters that shape the way I should respond to hurting friends, and they certainly give me pause before I speak. Each time I encounter a season of suffering (either personally or with a friend), I want to dig deeper roots of faith into God. God regards each and every one of us equally, and He sees us in the midst of our pain. He also sees who He created me to be on the other side of the pain. He is worthy of my undivided trust in every circumstance, and I hope I can be the kind of friend whose love, care, and persistent hope encourages others to trust Him as well.
Thank you for journeying with me,
Brent
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