Just when it seemed like weeks were rapidly passing by at
work, I received an email that the offices were closing because of the weather
conditions. Being born and raised from California, I have never experienced
anything like this before! My life has never been stopped or altered by an
external circumstance. Like many things in my life right now, this was yet
another “first”.
The day started with a bunch of admin work that needed to
get done and I was ready to take the whole day to do them. Within the next
couple hours, the work was done. I didn’t have a thing left to catch up on,
couldn’t go into the office, so I just started thinking. I had not had a moment
in the middle of my week to just sit and process in a long time so I was quite
honestly grateful for the space.
Being a Perfectionist (a number 1 on the Enneagram), I am
constantly looking for an area of improvement because I cannot stand things
being unfinished or subpar. I’m rarely content in the present, and I am always
looking to the future. I am very much a doer and I have a lot of issues just
simply being. I found myself quickly filled with anxiety as I looked at the
present imperfections and the unknown that lied ahead.
Questioning my purpose,
significance, and life trajectory were of course the things that immediately
came to mind and there I was, completely and utterly cornered by the fear of
the future once again.
The day went on and I carried my heaviness with me. And then
I looked outside as I was driving home from dinner with a friend and the snow
was falling heavier and heavier. We got back to the house and there were yards
and yards of untouched snow. Everything in me immediately new it was time to play.
How often do we get completely bogged down by life’s
heaviness? Sure, most of the time there is a reason we think through those
things. But honestly, it seems like a lot of the things we worry about stem
from the need to know and the need to be in control of our lives. When we were
kids we ran to play, and now that we are adults, we run to worry. We miss the
present moment that is full of God because we are caught up in the daily
mundane tasks, the heavy storm we are experiencing, and the anxieties of what lies ahead.
My housemates and I
began to build a snowman, throw snowballs, and eat the snow off the ground.
Minute by minute the heaviness began to fall off of me. I became truly present
to the people around me and saw that the moment right in front of me was
absolutely perfect. As we came back into the house, I retreated away into my bedroom
and was able to revisit all those questions with clarity, kindness and grace.
What if play, pleasure, and lightness is key to understanding the heaviest questions we bare? What if just being with God, enjoying his creation, and loving the people he has placed in our lives is a path that will lead us to carrying the yoke of Jesus?
His yoke is easy
and His burden is light.
There are
obviously seasons that seem heavier than most, but if play is a regular rhythm
of our lives where we enjoy the space God gives us to the fullest, we
might receive a glimpse of his true, unhindered joy. I want to be like little children that
helplessly rely on their mother and father for everything, and trust that all
things will be taken cared of. I strive to be someone that can have hands open
so wide that I can continually empty myself of the things that cause anxiety and
worry.
Where are the areas in your life that you need to set aside
for a couple minutes so that you can breathe and enjoy the present moment?
Be
courageous enough to trust that the Lord has you, and allow yourself to be like
a little kid that is filled with wonder and excitement to see what is right in
front of you. Be brave enough to fill the space of your life with gratitude and
life rather than numbing yourself with worry and death.
Jesus is the God With Us, so
let our eyes be fixed ever on him rather than the things that take us away from
him. Let’s be people that don’t just do
things for God, but people who can be
with God and enjoy him as if he were our closest friend.
Debrianna
dcabitac@b4church.org
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